Our Patriarch--James A. Nolan

                                                         
December 31, 1999

Dear Family,

The least known, most overlooked Nolan is our patriarch,  James A.  He was

born James A., Jr. on December 31, 1886, and left us on January 23, 1939,  a

few weeks after his 52nd birthday. Today is the 113th anniversary of his

birth.

Most of us, his children, still speak of  him as  "Daddy" . The youngest of

us would say, "Daddy we hardly knew ya."

Mother often spoke of the significance of December 31st in the life of our

family.  There would be an open house at 105-11 220th Street to celebrate

Daddy's birthday.  Neighbors, clients and fellow parishoners from SS. Joachim

&  Anne would  stream through the house.  My sister Marie recalls that it was

some time before she came to realize that not everyone was celebrating her

father's birthday on the evening of December 31st.

I must confess I have no direct memories of all of that.  My memories of

December 31st focus on an annual trek I made with Mother  to SS. Joachim &

Anne Church for a New Year's Eve service.  Father Herchenroder or Father

Witterholt would read the names of all of those who had died during the year

so that we might pray for them.  Marie and I attended a similar service on

All Souls Day this year.  Our pastor,  Father Lou, read the names of  family

members lost during the year, including my brother, Frank.  When we lighted

candles and recited appropriate prayers, those New Year's Eve services so

long ago in the old white wooden church in Queens VIllage  seemed near at

hand.

Toward midnight on New Year's Eve, we would join Mother and Sophye on the

sidewalk in front ot the house, banging pots and pans, and tooting horns.  On

December 31, 1956,  Marie  and I were newlyweds, living in the small two room

apartment Mother had originally set up for Bob and Shirley.  We have a

memorable picture of us with Mother & Sophye, together with my brother-in-law

Jim McNichol and his fiance, Joan Heaney,  banging the pots and tooting the

horns to welcome the New Year,  1957.  And of course, no New Years's

celebration was complete without herring on crackers,  with maybe a bit of

horseradish.  We should not forget that my Grandma King's maiden name was

Gleitz.

Though my father had eight children, he lived to attend few of their

graduations and none of their weddings,  He never knew  the joy of sharing in

the lives of the ninety + grandchildren and great-grandchildren  who are his

progeny.  Before his own early death he had experienced the loss of his first

wife, Elizabeth; his daughter, Veronica; his brothers Frank and Warren; his

sister, Mary;  his mother and father, James  A. and Mary; and Mother's

parents, Johanna and Francis King.  He also suffered through many bouts of

poor health.

Despite these  many adversities,  my father had a successful career in the

law,  and was a strong and loving presence in the lives of his wife and

children, as well as in his large extended family.

This has been a difficult year  for us.  We still feel keenly the loss of my

dear brother, Frank who, though he was twelve years older than my father,

seemed, by current standards, a relatively young man, full of life.  We were

shocked by the terrible illness which afflicted Stephen Koch.

But there were joyful moments as well,  the weddings of Frank's and Kenneth's

sons, and Bob's grandson, and the births of new great-grandchildren, Maggie

and Timothy.  And we are relieved to know that Stephen has come a long way

back in his recovery.

So, as we await with hope the arrival of the 21st century, let us briefly

look back 113 years to the 19th century, and say to our Father:  Happy

Birthday, Daddy;  Happy Birthday, Grandpa;  Happy Birthday, Great-Grandpa.

You did good!

Happy New Year to all!

Love,

Warren & Marie

Memories of 105-11 220th Street

This was originally posted to the Nolan email list in 2006.


Mary Jo Graves 
I think I could recreate the first floor of 105-11 220th Street, but obviously the one dotters' memories would be far more accurate. Several times in my mom's last years we drove her by the old house. I am sorry we didn't think to take pictures. What do my cousins remember?


Kathye Torrisi 
I remember the front porch and them the living room with the stairs to your
left as you came in. We used to perform there when Uncle Jim would encourage us to sing and dance. There was always turkey soup in the kitchen when we came early on Thanksgiving. I also remember that little area off the dining room that had a bed and I think a curtain instead of a door.


Mary Jo Graves 
I remember exactly the same things.  I think I slept in the little bed off the dining room when I came to visit.  I vividly remember listening to the chime of the grandfather clock on the mantel in the living room. In my house, we have a piano against the stairs which looks remarkably like Grandma's piano.  At one point, I think Grandma had a bathroom installed off the kitchen.  As the family got bigger, we ate in the back porch. I remember the wicker furniture on the front porch; I think Aunt Joan inherited it and might have used it at Whitney Lake.

Richard Koch 
There was a back porch which I remember well thanks to Uncle Jim. It was there when I was a young teenager he told me I was old enough to smoke. I thought that was cool. He then proceeded to light up a large cigar which after several puffs filling my lungs with the smoke I became quite sick for what seemed like forever. I will say I was never even tempted to smoke again. I also remember the kitchen which had a door to the back porch was at the back of the house on the left with the sink located under a window on the outside wall. I also recall a bathroom upstairs that had a window as I spent a signifiicant amount of time  in it as I had to clean it up after my smoke with the window open on a cool Thankgiving day.

Mary Jo Graves: 
I remember the huge tub with feet in the upstairs bathroom.  I vaguely remember locking myself in by accident as a young child. I remember being afraid of the attic crawl space in the bedroom opposite the bathroom. On the same side of the corridor as the bathroom was the entrance to the living room/kitchen apartment where newly married one-dotters took turns using until they could afford their own house. I only recall one other big bedroom at the end of the hallway.
I am curious if the younger cousins remember the house at all.

Liz Nolan 
I certainly do. Other than the memories that have been mentioned (cigars (not that I smoked) and dinners on the back porch)...I remember watching  my Dad and Uncles change the storm windows. I also remember eating my first soft boiled egg one summer morning on the back porch. Was there a trellis with roses or is that my other Grandmother's house?!?


What do you remember?

Grandmas, Kin-Keeping, and the Birthday Book

1945, 1974

One of my most cherished possessions is Grandma Nolan's  small 1980 datebook. It lists the birthdays of all her children, their spouses, her grandchildren, their spouses, and her great-grandchildren. All of us could absolutely count on a card from Grandma on our birthdays, anniversaries, and graduations. She always enclosed a dollar for her grandchildren;  she was on a strict budget and we cherished her generosity. If you hadn't received a card from Grandma Nolan, you must have gotten confused about your birthday She had 31 grandchildren and 23 great-grandchilden when she died at age 86 in 1985.

Mary Catherine  King was born in 1898 and left school after eighth grade. One of her first jobs was to mount women's combs on cards. She married my grandfather, James Nolan, a widowed lawyer with a toddler son, at age 22. She had seven children, four sons and three daughters; she raised her stepson as her own. Tragically one daughter died before she was two. Her husband died when she was 40; her children ranged from 17 to 2. He had been sick for 7 years; his chronic illness made it impossible for him to secure life insurance. After his death, she discovered his filing cabinet was full of unpaid bills from poor clients. Grandma had lost her parents the year before. Abruptly, they were very poor She collected rent from three small apartments in Brooklyn, but the apartments were the source of endless headaches. She worked in a laundromat. The older children helped support the family. My mom had to attend secretarial school rather than college.

Grandma was a very loving, giving, ingenious, frugal single mother. All her children turned out well--two lawyers, two teachers, a nurse, a social worker, a computer programmer. She was unavailingly there to help out when babies were born, when someone was sick, when someone was in crisis. A very religious woman, she was empowered by her deep faith. A lifelong Democrat, she voted in the first election open to women. She was always fascinated by world affairs and extremely knowledgeable about them. I could talk to her about anything.

In Becoming Grandmothers, Sheila Kitzinger describes the grandmother's role as the "kin-keeper." I have been understudying that role since my family lived with my grandma during the first two years of my life. I am the oldest girl cousin on both sides of the family.Grandmothers do emotional work. They sustain and nourish the family's kinship, keeping everyone connected with one another. This is a greater challenge now when families are far-flung and both parents are working grueling schedules. There is very little time left over for extended families.

I take absolutely seriously my commitment to follow my grandmother and mother, two strong, loving, generous matriarchs. Grandma knows the family's addresses, phone numbers, birthdays, Facebook accounts, Twitter logins.. Grandma informs the family if anyone is sick or in trouble, is engaged, lost a job, is pregnant. In the event of a family death, she alwasys knows the funerael arrangements. Grandma opens her house for family parties and reunions, no matter the state of her housekeeping or budget. Grandma can always identify the people in those old pictures and knows where the family skeletons are buried.

I have 5 brothers, 5 sister-in-laws, 11 nieces and nephews, 5 of whom are married. I have 5 grandnieces and 2 grandnephews. Every year I revise the extended family directory, prying the information out of everyone. We established a family google group,  sharing news and pictures, so we all know what is happening in our lives, even if we don't see each other often enough. I do more of the communicating than anyone else, but I consider that my responsibility.  I just started secret family Facebook groups. Only family members can see who is in the group, post, and read posts.

I have seen both my mother's and father's formerly close knit family disperse once the family matriarch dies. My extended family is scattered all over the East Coast, from Maine to North Carolina, so it is a challenge to keep us close. Fortunately, we have had six family weddings since my mom's death 4 years ago, so they have been family reunions as well. In 4 years, my parents have had 12 great grandchildren.

When I was taking care of mother 24/7 during the last three years of her life, I scanned thousands of old family photos and slides. My husband, a computer programmer, wrote software for many family picture sites. His software enabled me to caption the photos and arrange them in chronological order. Pictures that family members had never seen were freed from boxes and closets and available to everyone anytime.capacity. At my mother's wake, we were able to show a slideshow of her life, with pictures from 1921 to 2004. The pictures sites live on.

As I learn to grandmother, my Grandma Nolan is my inspiration and role model. Looking through her date book always brings back new memories of love, humor, kindness, and understanding.

Uncle Bob to Marie and Joe, July 22, 1945

1945, Sunday 22 July

Dear Marie and Joe,

I feel that I should make this letter something of a literary masterpiece because it's the first one I write to you, in your new role of a mother.  My writing is poor and my grammar worse so I'll have to be content with my usual awkward attempt to congratulate you and your husband.

Ever since you met Joe, I knew that each of you had a lucky catch and your child will forever be proud of its parents.  I'd never tell you ,I  guess, but I've always thought you tops in sisters, and I've seen the kind of wife you've made.  As a woman you have wonderfully fulfilled these capacities , and everyone has long realized that you'll make the best best type of mother.

Of course I get a great kick out of talking of my niece.  One can imagine the excitement among Kenneth and Frank.  There isn't a soul in Queens Village who doesn't know that there is  an addition to the Nolan household.  I guess there wasn't enough life in our house before.  This will certainly liven things up.

 Joe must be cheering so loud that it can be heard in the hospital.  He's a good guy Marie (need I tell you), and you both deserve the best.

love
Rob

Dear Warren, Love Mom

 January 15, 2000

Dear Family,

Today is the 15th anniversary of Mother's passing on January 15th, 1985.  At
her marriage in July 1920, she was twenty-two.  When Daddy died on January 23rd, 1939, they had been married fewer than nineteen years.  She was to live on for nearly forty-seven more years as a widow.

While I was a graduate student at Notre Dame in the mid -1950s,Mother wrote to me frequently. Following are brief excerpts from some of her letters in the fall of 1955.

At the time, Joan, Frank and Ken were still at home.  Joan was a nurse; 
Frank and Ken were in college.  I had resumed seriously courting Marie
McNichol after a  nearly five year gap.  We begin with the first World Series
victory of our beloved Brooklyn Dodgers over the hated New York Yankees!  [I
make no corrections in the text of the letters. Quotation marks are omitted.]

Dear Warren

                                                                        Tues. Oct 4, 1955

.With the Dodgers now the hero's as of today hope things will settle down,
it sure has been tense, wondering if Mary Joe has any finger nails left.  Ken
had off today ...and thought the last few minutes of the game he would have a fit, the final blow he run to the door just to tell anyone that happened to
pass.  Joan sat in the chair with a long face on she claims to favor the
Yanks.

Anna phoned today  "quote I guess Warren isn't going to have time to write to me since he has to be writing to Marie" ... If you get a few minutes try and
drop a few lines to Aunt Anna.   By now and be good

                                                                        Sat Morning  (Oct. 8, 1955)

Received your "Personal" for Mother only this A.M. ....Dont be wishing your
life away, at times absences are good   it makes one think a little deeper, 
from the gist of your letter the young lady must be offering you much
encouragement 

.Outside of plenty of orange juice & "rest"  there isnt much besides
aspirin,  sometimes those four way cold pills are good   Why dont you get a
rain hat instead of putting it off.  enclosing a check for one hat, a good
sunday dinner and extra orange juice.  "No books of any kind on my check." 
Be good

.Last Thurs. Joe taking the car into Hempstead was hit broadside by a
college student,  there car had to be towed to the garage, the boy had
insurance  ....its a blessing Joe wasn't hurt.                               
                                         

                                                                         

                    Tues Morning  (Oct. 11, 1955)

....Do hope by now you have recovered from your cold,  Frank also has a bad
one, justs coughs all night.  Someday that boy will learn to take care of
himself  the hard way of cause....Guess my daughter [Joan]  will be on her
way to California shortly...Can't say I'm happy about her going but then she is old enough to know   I keep thinking about the lonely roads they will have to travel.....Just had a nice surprise  Aunt Anna walked in, she was glad to get your letter

                                                                          Sat afternoon  (Oct. 15, 1955)

...Frank & Ken are going up to the Mt.V. to a dance tonight,  they are riding
up with Barb. and Jack.... The bad part is that {Marie & Joe]  are lost for
the need of the car,  several times Joan has rode out there early and Marie
has to drive her back to the hospital and then pick her up again.  Joan then
rides Marie back to Uniondale so its a merry go round.....Joan just came in
from work   I want her to take me over to the school to register [to vote] 
this is the last day.....Well I hope you have a nice time at dinner with
Father  Hughes   I bet you feel real important. Does Marie [McNichol] write
regularly to you?  Got to go now

                                                                     Sunday Afternoon  (Oct. 23, 1955)
Know you will be looking for a letter,  so decided to write before reading
the papers.Marie & Joe are still without a car....they are rather discouraged,  its hard for her to get around without it.  Robert is making a retreat this week, he to is a bit upset about his house  [Lynbrook},  doesnt seem to be selling as fast as he expected.  Haven't heard from James in awhile  last Ken heard he {James}  intended to go on a hunting trip for a week.....I am sending a box with a few necessary items, according to the last remarks in your letter you need them...take care of yourself  will write again in a few days

                                                                          Sat Morn. (Nov. 5, 1955)

....This past week has been a really depressing one.....James left at 4:00
this A.M. for a hunting trip in the Maine woods, he phoned to say goodbys
last night,  well three goodbys in one week is just too much.  {Me back to
ND;  Joan starting her cross-country trip].....Before I forget to remind you
again about Annas birthday on Nov 13.  I know how she looks forward to
hearing from you....I'm sure Kay isnt too happy about James going away, but
she says perhaps he"ll get it out of his system...it is rather strange for me
not to be having Sunday dinner for the family.

                                                                          

                        Monday Morning (Nov. 7, 1955)

While the washing machine is romping along thought it a good time to dash off a few lines.  Received your first letter...also one from Joan,  needless to
say she has [not] passed by your way {ND} due to the weather conditions.  As of last night they were in Tulsa  Oklahoma....Had a nice day with Robert &
Shirley yesterday,  Frank went with me,   we took a ride to see his [Bob's]
friend Gabe's new home in Syosset L.I.
What a place  really beautiful

                                                                          
Wed Morn  (Nov. 9, 1955)
....Well the most important news, the girls had an accident in Amarillo
Texas.  Joan phoned last night to tell me, it happened Monday some time, she
was driving and in passing a truck, skid on the wet snow and the car
overturned.  She assures me and will say she sounded alright....Of cause
being upset I missed some of the details....Needless to say this just aboutfloored me, hardly slept  last night at all....My hand is really shaking

                                                                          
                            Sat Morn  (Nov. 12, 1957)
Robert and myself just returned from the air port after meeting Joan....Joan
took a plane last night  All she wanted to do was come home and was might
happy to see Robert and me at 6:45 this A.M....Thank God she is home looking a bit worn   never wanting to see Texas again.  I am hapy to see her and hope to relax a bit...

                                                                          
                            Sat Morn  (Nov. 19, 1957)
.....Floating a loan [for an engagement ring],  Robert doesn't think it a
good idea to start off that way... of cause thats just an echo of my
thoughts.  I told you I would help but dont know just how much you have in
mind to loan.  Most girls like a rather decent size ring or else they are
rather ashamed to show it.  This is a problem you will have to think out
sanely without letting your heart run away with your head.

Expect the Nolans "Lynbrook" for Thanksgiving dinner  also Anna & Chester,
Sophye.  Marie {Koch] will be in later in the day.  Rob finally settled their
car accident for $165.  it cost them $185

                                                                         
                            Sat. 2:00  (Nov. 26, 1955)
....Have enough turkey for today but ready for a new taste tomorrow.  Can't
say my bird was too tender,  had it in the oven for five hours but had a hard
time cutting the legs etc.  By this time everyone was starved, the vegetables
were looking limp, so think at Christmas I will get my bird in my own butcher
shop.  It was nice talking to you {on the phone] altho with the noise at this
end its a little hard to hear.  [Having expended my resources on a trip home
in early November to become "secretly" engaged, I could not afford to come
home for Thanksgiving.]  ...Robert has taken a binder on his house...Believe
the people have a base until March so that will give them some time to look
around....will write more later  have been busy this week, take care of
yourself.....

                                                                          
                            Monday  ( Dec. 12, 1955)
Guess this will be the last letter before your trip home.... It {foot
problems] sure has me down, with so much to do, haven't been able to get any shopping or the million and one things before the holidays.  I am writing
some Christmas cards that will be a job done....Robert & Shirley were out
house hunting and from reports last night real disgusted....All this is
making it more convincing for Marie & Joe to enlarge their house as they had
it up to their necks looking. 

Well dear nothing else to say - O we took care of sending the flowers  [to
Marie McNichol for her birthday] and I had Joan mail a card from us all.  As
ever
                                                                            

                                                                   Love, Mother

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------.
How did it all turn out?  Marie McNichol and I became formally engaged for
Christmas, 1955.  We were married on Nov. 24, 1956.  I spent half of 1957 in the Army.  We gave Aunt Anna a nice present on her 67th birthday,  November 13, 1957 - our twin daughters.... Joan returned to nursing at Mercy Hospital. She married Peter Reehil in October, 1957; she never returned to Texas....Bob and Shirley bought a new house in Merrick - just in time, and later moved on to Huntington....James went hunting and was never heard from again - just kidding....Marie and Joe did add on to their house and now its a nice B & B for our LI visits....Frank graduated from St. Peter's in June, 1956 and went on to ND for graduate work in math - where he met a girl named Rosemarie....Ken did a brief sojourn in the Paulists, graduated from St. Francis College, got his MSW at Fordham and disappeared into the U.S. Army, finally making his way, via Vietnam, to Texas.  Along the way, he added  another beautiful Marie to our family.

And Mother. Mother soldiered on for nearly thirty years.  She had chronic
physical complaints and continued to worry a lot about us.  Like the loaves
and fishes, her love grew to embrace her many grandchildren and
great-grandchildren.  She missed the big party in 1998 in honor of her 100th
birthday, but we all had the feeling that she was there in spirit, and that
she continues to watch over us - and worry about us.
                                                                             
         Love to all,
                                                                             
          Warren

Grandpa Nolan's Letter to 5-Month-Old Son

  From Uncle Warren

                                                                        January 3, 2002

Dear Family,

It was 1917 and the great war in Europe had been raging for more than three years.

On February 1, 1917,  Germany began unrestricted submarine warfare, confident of  dealing Great Britain a crippling blow before the United States could effectively intervene.  President Wilson quickly broke off diplomatic relations with Germany.

On March 18, 1917, three American merchant ships were sunk by German U-boats without warning and with great loss of life.

President Wilson hesitated, then made a dramatic appearance before a joint session of Congress on a rainy Monday evening in Holy Week,  April 2, 1917.  He called for a declaraion of war against Germany, stating:  "The world must be made safe for democracy." On Wednesday, the Senate voted 82-6 for war.  In the early hours of Good Friday, the House voted 373-50 for war.  The President signed the declaration of war on the afternoon of Good Friday.

On May 29th a young father - just thirty - recently widowed and still  in mourning, considered the possibility that he would be drafted into military service and might never return from the war.  He sat down and wrote an eight page letter to his infant son.

The young father was my father, James A. Nolan.  The infant son was my brother, also James A. Nolan.  Jim celebrated his 85th birthday on December 16, 2001.  December 31, 2001 was the 115th anniversary of my father's birth.

Below I have transcribed the remarkable letter which my father wrote on that day.

(Note:  The letter is reproduced as it was written, without editorial change.  Because my father's handwriting was, in places, somewhat difficult to read, and my copy of the letter was poor,  I have used question marks to indicate where I was not confident as to the word used, or to indicate a word or phrase that was not discernible.)

..........................................................................................................................

                                                                              273 Etna Street

                                                                                   Brooklyn, N.Y.

                                                                                        May 29th 1917

Dear Son James:

              You are only five months old and some days as your father writes you this long letter.  Your mother, the best and loveliest of God's creatures, died the day after you were born December 17th 1916.  You were born December 16th 1916 at 134 Euclid Avenue, Brooklyn, N.Y.  Dr August G. Maron and your father and the nurse were present.  Your mother saw you and held you in her arms for a little while and then said "good night" to Papa and while asleep took convulsions which lasted twenty-two hours and resulted in her death.

               Your mother was born in Brooklyn, the daughter of William J. Warren and Carrie G. Warren who both died while your mother was very young, about four or six years of age.  Your mother,  I will hereafter call her "Bessie" - her full name was Elizabeth Gertrude Nolan - was born February 17, 1892.  Her brother William is still living and at this writing works for the New York Central Railroad at Niagara Falls, N.Y.  He is younger than Bessie. He is married and has a little boy, who is your first cousin.  Your mother's grandmother (Catherine Williams) is still living at Little Sisters of the Poor Home for the Aged at DeKalb & Bushwick Avenue.  She is almost seventy-four years old.  She has seen you and has prayed for you and Bessie ever since you were born.  When Bessie lost her mother the family lived on Marion(?) Street Brooklyn N.Y. near the g! ood Catholic family named McGill.  Miss Emma McGill, a very good maiden lady, virtually raised Bessie.  The family adopted her - not legally - and orphan though she was Bessie received every advantage in life.  She sang sweetly but softly, she played the piano nicely - she played with a touch all her own  - her personality was more than pleasing, her appearance almost beautiful and her love for Papa and Papa's for her rich and beautiful - one for the other.  We were married June 25th 1913,  at the Church of Our Lady of Lourdes on Aberdeen Street Brooklyn.  Father McAdam married us in the evening and we had a big wedding.  Aunt Grace and Uncle Willie, my younger brother and sister, stood up for us.  We spent our honeymoon at Lake George, N.Y.  We took up our home at #134 Euclid Avenue and lived there until after you were born and Bessie died.

               You were baptized at the Church of the Blessed Sacrament Euclid Avenue and Fulton Street Brooklyn.  Father John M. Kiely who knew Bessie and I well - christened you James.  Emma A. McGill was your godmother.  That was as Mother - Bessie and I planned it before you were born.  My brother Joseph was your godfather.  Bessie is buried in a plot in St. John's Cemetary, Queens County, in a newly purchased plot.  The grave in which she is buried is the second grave from the left.  I paid 250 to enclose the plot.  I paid $100 towards the ground.  My mother paid $100 toward the ground and my brother Frank $25 and my brother William $25.  The plot contains eight graves which will permit of 24 internments.

               Your mother and father for almost two years before mother's (Bessie's) death attended Mass at eight o'clock and received communion weekly.  That is a practice which will keep you right all your life.  Keep it up and God will pour down his love and blessings upon you all you life.  If it be God's will  your father and your mother too  if she were here to advise with you  would love to see you a Priest of God.  If God gives you the vocation  may you prove a good one.

               After Bessie died  I broke up home and went back home to my mother and father at 32 Essex St, Brooklyn N.Y.  For four months my mother tried to mind you but she lost her sleep nights and broke down in health, and Papa had to get out  one morning with you or else Grandma Nolan would have passed away with your care.  I went temporarily to Miss Emma  A McGill your godmother and for a few days stayed there.  Then I decided that the best thing for you and me was to establish our own home again.  Accordingly here we are.  Grandma Nolan consented to allow Grace my sister and a good friend of Bessie's to stay with us until we could find a housekeeper.  But no housekeeper was available and sister Grace and I are here with you keeping house.  Grace loves you and had done a great deal for you so far.  If you can show your gratitude at some ! time in after life do so.  On Sunday evenings and Wednesday evenings Grace receives her gentleman friend and Papa and you have a quiet evening at home and so far you have been a very good boy.

               The nations of the world are at war and Good Friday last our own country joined the war forces against Germany.  The real cause of  it was the use of the German submarine against peaceful passenger ships and the wholesale slaughter of our people.  Congress has passed a Conscription bill which makes your father liable for draft.  I am not afraid to go but I do not like to leave my half-orphan boy to the mercies of the world in my absence.  God will take care of you I am sure if I am called away from you.  This letter is written you so that if I am called to defend my country and taken away perhaps never to return you may have something to remember your father and mother by.  I am a lawyer with only a small practice.  I have earned enough thank God in our married life never to deny either Bessie, your mother, or you or myself anything moderately ! right and proper.  I studied law at night, working and supporting myself as a stenographer and clerk by day.  Your mother was a stenographer and was employed as a stenographer in the office of the Corporation Counsel in Brooklyn, before her marriage.

               Your mother procured(?) me to join the Church choir and I have found much recreation learning the bass part of the various Masses.

                Let me give you a  ??????  in life - from experience.

                Be careful of your companions - chose the best - not the richest.

                 Do not waste your time.  Keep busy every moment. Idleness is th chief ally of the devil.  God loves those who work hard and keep

                 occupied.  Offer it all for the Honor & Glory of God.

                  Keep your bowels regulated and go to stool at least once a day.

                  Read good clean books.

                  Practice frequent communion.

                  Leave liquor alone - your father or mother never touched it.

                  Smoke, but not to excess.

                  Suffer patiently for Christ's sake.

                  Be kind, patient and charitable.

                  Always give in to those you love, even though you are right and they

                  are wrong., but let them know they are wrong.

                   I will write more some other time perhaps - Pray always for your

                   mother and father.

                                                                         Affectionately

                   xxxxxxx                                              Papa

                                                                          (James A Nolan Jr)

..........................................................................................................................

My father was not called to military service, whether because of his single parent status or because of some medical condition, I do not know.  His brothers Walter and Joseph did serve in the military.

After being cared for by Aunt Grace, my three and one-half year old brother James found a new mother  in July, 1920 when my father married Mary Catherine King - my mother. She was twenty-two.  They had seven children, tragically losing their second daughter, my sister Veronica, in April, 1926.  Veronica was a toddler - about twenty months old.

My parents married life was short - less than nineteen years.  After my father's death in 1939, Mother went on alone for forty-six years, the center of a loving and constantly growing family.

At the beginning of this new year, may God's blessing be upon all the young parents in our family, and especially upon those who will be bringing new life into the world this year.

                                                                       Love to all,

                                                                       Warren

                

Peter Reehil, RIP--December 2002

Dear Family and Friends,

The husband of my sister Joan, "Uncle" Peter Reehil, died at home today,
Friday, in West Islip, Long Island at 3 p.m. (the hour of Devine Mercy
as the Lord revealed to St. Faustina) in the bosom of his loving wife,
children and grandchildren, his pastor and his doctor. Older Catholics
among you will remember how we always prayed to St. Joseph for the grace
of a happy death. The act of dying may be difficult indeed, but which of
us does not think about and  pray that our own time to leave this earth
might be like Peter's, at home in the company of the Lord and in the
arms of our dear ones?

Peter was terribly ill from cancer for some fifteen and more years. He
was a grand Catholic man, a Korean-era Army paratrooper, a retired
teacher, devoted husband and father of four splendid daughters. Growing
up just blocks away from my family, he was a local Queens Village,N.Y.
boy, attended the same parish church, same parish school as we Nolans,
and worked as a loan officer in a local bank while attending college on
the GI Bill.  I remember him, his parents and extended family as far
back as the early 1950's. Always he called me Kenneth.

 We loved talking
endlessly together whenever, on military leave or after retirement, we
visited their home. What I will always remember about Peter and be ever
grateful to him for were the many kindnesses he lavished upon my mother
in her declining years. My mother thought the world of Peter. He cared
for her in his home, took her to the doctor, etc. How often he wheeled
her a couple of blocks to mass at his parish of Our Lady of Lourdes. Do
I doubt that this very evening she has already thanked him in person,
welcomed him "home", and rejoiced with him as he was finally reuniting
with his own parents, Ruth and John? Not on your life! Because, as we
have been told:
"Eyes have not seen, nor ears heard the treasures our Father has stored
up for us in Heaven."  Go in the peace of the Lord dear sweet brother!

Kenneth

Patrick Nolan Remembers Uncle Peter, December 2002

I will not say these words are new, only that they are from my heart. Uncle Peter's warm and outgoing personality always put me at ease and while I can't say I remember details of what we spoke, I can remember vividly his willingness to engage me, as a young man in conversation and my relief to be able to talk so easily with one of my many uncles. I felt we connected and that was a big deal for me. I remember it as if it were yesterday.

As Michael Nolan said, this was a really great thing when you felt nervous amongst a sea of Nolans (which was also especially daunting for us out-of-towners). We never had much time in town to visit, so the opportunity to get to know one's relatives was extremely valuable. Uncle Peter's abilty to knock down the walls of distance and to ignite familiarity was awesome. Whenever I visited the Reehils, we had a great time that began with their bright smiles greeting us at the door. My brothers and I enjoyed teasing the girls and always felt so welcome.

My last visit to their home must have been in the 80's. It was this Nolan gathering there where I met an older Michael Nolan and we decided that we were both a little odd for this Nolan clan ("black sheep", if I remember Michael's exact terminology).  In Peter's living room, a budding writer and an artist discussed our future endeavors. It helped bring us both closer together. Michael is now my daughter Erin's godfather. The Reehi!
ls home was always a wonderful place for the Nolans to come back together and I appreciate their boundless generousity.

Though the time has come for him to go home and the fragility of human life is again revealed, nothing will conquer my loving memories of Uncle Peter nor silence the prayers this night on his behalf. His memory will live within my heart forever as an example of how to be a happy person, as an example of courage but mostly as an example of how to love and be loved.  I guess I can take some comfort in knowing that Uncle Peter will be waiting to welcome me Home one day with his wonderful smile. God bless him, let him laugh again and give him and his family peace through Your love this night and forever. Amen.

Mary Nolan Koch's Conversion

Years ago, my reaction to Imogene's request to tell you the story of my
conversion would have been:  "Conversion?  Why I wasn't a convert.
I've always been a practicing Catholic.  I was baptized as a child."
That would have ben my understanding of conversion--something that
non-Catholics decide to do.

But I know differently now.  I know that I'm always undergoing
conversion--turning more and more to God and becoming closer to Jesus
through the daily reception of the Eucharist.

All of my life I have been a weekly communicant, but it wasn't until
the early 1980's when I took early retirement in order to care for my
invalid mother and then my husband, afflicted with Alzheimer's Disease,
that I started attending daily Mass.  Soon I realized that the daily
reception of the Eucharist had become the focal point of my life.

At first I would say that this daily reception of the Eucharist was a
private spirituality, but gradually I realized that I was also
receiving nourishment from the community of believers ath the morning
Eucharist, that it was a communal celebration. After all hadn't Vatican
II told us that We, the People are the Church, we seek community around
the Table of the Lord.  If Jesus is broken and passed around, so too
must we be, if genuine community is to be realized in our Church.

I remember reading an articile in America magazine that reflected my
ideas about Eucharist and community.  It made the point that the
Eucharistic liturgy should be a magnet to draw us out of our private
hideaway places.  I could see how communal Eucharist could break down
the barriers of self-interest, social and economic class, even race and
age.  It might seem an impossible task, but I know that in sharing
Eucharist, Christ gives us the graces to accomplish even impossible
tasks.

This new realization of the importance of Community in the life of the
Church led me to study about Small Christian Communities when I was
enrolled in the Diocesan Pastoral Formation Institute.  I began to
realize that small group participation could lead to the renewal of the
Church.  By coincidence our RENEW program was starting in the Parish,
and I became one of the leaders of RENEW.  My Small Group became an
importance source of communal spiritual nourishment for me, and I am
pleased that we have continued to meet as a Small Christian Community.
My prayers at Eucharist now include not only the members of my own
Small Group, but also all the members of St. Martha's community.

I'm happy to know that in the early years of this century, Pope Pius X
encouraged the faithful to receive frequent Holy Communion because it
was not the common practice until that time.  Recently I was impressed
with Jesuit Father Jack Morris's comment that "nothing to more critical
to a vital ch urch agenda, as we sail into the high winds of the
multicultural third millenium that the Eucharist" to bring us together.
I know as I read the new Cathechism that I agree with the statement
that the "Eucharist is the source and summit of the Christina life."

There were sometimes troubling days for me, and receiving the Eucharist
each morning gave me the spiritual nourishment and strength I needed to
cope with what was happening in my life.  Becoming closer to Christ,
sharing in His life, death, and resurrection became the focus of my
spiritual life.

Also about that time I started daily Scripture reading.  I was
particularly influenced by the Gospel of John.  In Chapter 6 he
recounts Jesus' promise, "I am the Bread of Life, whoever comes to me
will never hunger, and whoever believes in me, will never thirst."
Jesus goes to to speak of sacramental nourishment, "unless  you eat the
flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you do not have life
within you."  I was impressed!  Jesus was promising me eternal life.
John did not speak of the Institution of the Eucharist at the Last
Supper, but in the other three gospels we read that at the Last Supper
Jesus instituted the Eucharistic sacrifice of his body and blood.  As I
received this Sacrament I became united with Christ in sharing his Body
and Blood.

In this connection I have a deep concern that as the priest shortage
continues to grow,that there will be many parishes that will not be
able to experience the joy of the daily Communal Celebration of the
Body and Blood of Christ.  I know how important it is to me to continue
my growing relationship with Jesus, to be able to give Thanksgiving for
all He has done for me and for the Community of believers. I pray that
all Christians will continue to have this opportunity.

Family Resources

Nolan Memories

http://nolanmemories.blogspot.com/

This blog is not listed or indexed by google or any other search engine, so it provides considerable privacy. You can only read it if you already know the URL. Only old photos will be posted.

Nolan Family Pictures

Click on the thumbnail to see the larger photo. Many photos are captioned, and are arranged in chronological order. Enjoy the photos as a slide show.

Nolan History

http://galleries.lugdunum.net/cgi-bin/picshow?dir=fpa1

Grandma Nolan

http://galleries.lugdunum.net/cgi-bin/picshow?dir=hb_mckn

James

http://galleries.lugdunum.net/cgi-bin/picshow?dir=janolan

Mary

http://galleries.lugdunum.net/cgi-bin/picshow?dir=maryk

Robert

http://galleries.lugdunum.net/cgi-bin/picshow?dir=hb_bob

Joan

http://galleries.lugdunum.net/cgi-bin/picshow?dir=hb_joan

Warren

http://galleries.lugdunum.net/cgi-bin/picshow?dir=warren70

Frank

http://galleries.lugdunum.net/cgi-bin/picshow?dir=frank

Ken

http://galleries.lugdunum.net/cgi-bin/picshow?dir=kenneth

Nolan Reunion Google Group

This is a private closed group.  At present only first cousins belong, but their spouses and their children are welcome to join.  Members must be invited, and only members can see who belongs, post, and read posts.  You can receive messages as individual email, as a email digest, or on the web.

If  you want to join, email grandmamaryjoan@gmail.com

Mary Jo Graves

Jim's Tribute to His Dad, March 2004

Shortly after Uncle Jim's death in 2004, Jim gave me permission to share his moving eulogy of his dad. I just came across it, and I  loved reading it again. I am sure you will to.

James A. Nolan, III

Dad's life spanned nearly the entire twentieth century.  He was born during the "Great War", he served in World War II.  He grew up amidst the economic strains of the Great Depression, he participated in the expansive growth of our country in the second half of this century.  Born a decade after the first flight, he watched the astronauts go to the moon. With his death, for me, the twentieth century can finally come to a close.

      It would be an exaggeration to say that Dad left his mark on his century. Historians will never consider him a great or influential man.  And Dad did not seek to be a great man.  He was very content with what he had: a very supportive wife, a family of brothers and sisters, children and grandchildren of whom he was very proud, a series of life long friends, many of whom he would recall in his last days, with whom he shared good times and to whom he could always tell a good joke, over and over again.  These things he prized.  

 I cannot communicate with the dead, but I think I know our Dad well enough to tell you some of my father's present thoughts about how lucky he was in life.  In the early part of this century, without antibiotics for infection, many young infants were born motherless.  They were destined to become orphans or stepchildren of another woman.  But for my father, in the first three years, there was a loving woman named Aunt Grace.  At three years of age, my father met a new woman, Mary Nolan, who accepted him into her heart as her own child.  "James", as she insisted he be called, was always her pride and joy.  Mary stood by her son James and her other six children despite the deprivations brought on by the early death of her husband.    James and his brothers and sisters were very lucky to have such a woman as a mother.

    Coming out of school in the Great Depression, many young men found the doors to opportunity closed.  A retired judge, a friend of Dad's father, offered the young "James" a job in the legal department at the East New York Savings Bank.   With the exception for his service in the Navy, Dad stayed with that job until his retirement.  The job enabled him, through mortgage lending, to participate in the greatest period of growth on Long Island.  It brought to Dad many business associates, developers, other bankers, who could appreciate a good joke.  It brought many lasting friends, some who are here today.

      The greatest gift of life to my father was his acquaintance with another woman, Catherine Connolly Nolan.  An attractive and intelligent woman, Catherine, for the most part, put her ambitions to the side in order to fulfill the dreams of her the husband and the children she loved.  Catherine could put up with Dad's faults, soothe his ire and steer his, at times, pessimistic thoughts in a positive direction.  And Catherine loved doing it!  Our Dad suffered immensely from the death of Catherine, depressed and withdrawn for years after her leaving.  For a long time, we barely heard him mention her name.  This past week, a few days before he died, James told us that he "was going to see his bride".

Finally, Dad was fortunate in his last ten years to have a family and caretakers who loved him.  As a physician, I care for many patients who have been abandoned in nursing homes.  Despite his illness, Dad remained in his home, at center-stage in the family to the moment of his last breath. Many a billionaire cannot say the same.  I know my father is thankful to all of you.

    Good luck only comes to the lucky.  What was Dad's secret?  I would argue that Dad's secret was that he knew how to like people.   There may be someone in this world, who has met my father and who does not like him.  However, with absolute certainty, I can tell you that there is no one, whom my father has met, in whom my father did not immediately see the good and with whom my father would not immediately share his humor. We Irish are world renowned for holding a grudge.  Dad did not hold grudges.  The business world can be a cut-throat environment.  Dad thought the best way to succeed was to treat everyone else fairly. I would argue that Dad attracted good luck because everyone who came into his presence met a warm smiling face and a friendly voice, which communicated immediately that one was accepted and loved.

      I would like to end by re-telling you one of my father's war stories, which exemplifies the good fortune of my father's life.  Many of you will remember that my father served during World War II as a young naval officer on the light cruiser Biloxi, which was in Admiral Halsley's fleet and participated in most of the major battles in the Pacific in 1944 and 1945, including the battle of Leyte Gulf in the Phillipines and the assault of Iwo Jima and Okinawa.  You may remember that a large portion of the losses of the U.S. naval fleet were due to attacks of Japanese Kamikaze bombers. In fact, more than 4000 sailors died from these attacks during the last six months of the war.

On March 27th, 1945, just about 60 years ago today, the U.S.S. Biloxi was close to the shore of Okinawa, covering the minesweepers, which were preparing for the attack on Okinawa on Easter Sunday, April 1, 1945.  The Biloxi was hit squarely in the side, at the water line, by one of these Kamikaze bombers, but the bomb did not explode.  Knicknamed "Double Lucky" the Biloxi survived without loss of life.

Now for the rest of the story: A young attorney in Brooklyn was anxious to join the navy, but had one problem.  He wore thick glasses because he was farsighted and had astigmatism.  An intelligent young man, he learned that it was easy to memorize the eye chart, passed the eye exam and served almost three years as an officer in the Navy without eyeglasses. This young naval officer was assigned to antiaircraft spotting on board the Biloxi.  At general quarters, this officer was in charge of the team of 20 mm antiaircraft gunners on one side of the ship.  However, on other watches, the junior officers had to assume more responsible positions.  In the case of this young officer, his dog watch job was to ride in the crow's nest high above the ship and aim all the five inch guns, the ship's biggest antiaircraft weapon.

Because the Kamikaze attacks off of Okinawa occurred continuously day and night, the Biloxi was not at general quarters when it was hit.  This young naval officer  was at command of the five inch guns and busily firing upon a Kamikaze which he saw diving upon another ship.  The Kamikaze which did strike the Biloxi had been strafed by the machine guns but was not blown out of the sky because the big guns were never aimed at it! When the bomber crashed into the ship, the young naval officer, recently promoted from ensign to lieutenant junior grade, immediately thought it was his fault that the plane had made it through the defenses.  The ship would sink and he, if he survived, would be court-martialed for dereliction of duty and cheating on his admission physical exam.

What luck, the bomb penetrated the side of the ship and landed in a room full of potatoes and beans.  It did not explode.  Some officers and crew won metals for bravery in defusing the bomb.  The actions of the young naval officer were never questioned.  After completing the assault of Okinawa, the Biloxi went back to San Francisco for repairs.  The young naval lieutenant took this opportunity to marry his sweetheart.  Some of you attended the wedding.  Nine months later, I was born.

Our Catholic faith teaches us that all that happens to us is not due to luck but to Divine Providence.  Not a sparrow will fall from the sky without God's attention to it.  God is active in history and cares for each of us individually.  Well then, God has been very good to Dad in his life.  Now God has taken Dad home.

I hope God likes to listen to jokes.